Sunday, May. 15, 2005 - 7:44 pm
+ the time has come her car's fixed.

and in my driveway.

...

you have no idea how happy that makes BOTH of us.

and i need to go continue cleaning it a bit =).

+
Thursday, May. 12, 2005 - 11:37 pm
+ i don't wanna wait yanno, i really think that they sky decided to show up meanly and open up above kansas city in the past couple days, and it's gonna keep happening for the next couple of days from what i hear.

..gawd, we're gonna float away soon o__o;;.

i hit a possum. i tried to slow down and avoid it since i was the only one on the road and alomst hit the ditch on the other side and still hit it. but it was wet enough... it might've been a cat...

...

i'm gonna go in my room, grab my elbe kitty, curl up in a landa ball, and pass out.

+
Thursday, May. 12, 2005 - 8:13 pm
+ there's a song that's inside of my soul as of monday, i'll be on a one week hiatus. during that time, i'll be deciding whether or not diaryland will be locked and if all future xanga entries will be private. until then, everything will be as normal. of course, this is assuming that elsbe gets her car back on sunday as planned.

..yes, that means she didn't get it yesterday. long story short, they found the oil leak she's always had and decided it needs to be fixed as well. ready by saturday, we're meeting her dad and stepmom sunday at eleven am.

at this point in time, i've got a much larger manga collection than i had about three hours ago. it follows as such:

gravitation - 1 thru 11
full metal alchemist - 1
ranma 1/2 - 1
wolf's rain - 1 and 2
fake - 1
azumanga daioh - 1
ai yori aoshi - 1

i figure, hey, it's something to do during the week i'm away, right? then there's the newtype usa from this month with inuyasha and kagome on it. yeah, it's a six page thing, little to no words on it... murr. at least i'll be able to find out about other manga/anime thorugh it though!

...

yes, i'm still easing into all of this. meh.

+
Wednesday, May. 11, 2005 - 10:01 pm
+ of all the things i believe in i just wanna get it over with to everyone out there that was questioning it:

THE THING ABOUT THE LOSS OF BRAIN CELLS WAS A JOKE. A FUCKING JOKE. DON'T TAKE IT SO GODDAMN SERIOUSLY.

i think i might lose her at least for a while. because i said how i actually feel about all of this shit... and him.

i'm not gonna say i'm sorry, because i'm not. i will say that i regret not keeping it in longer, and the fact that apparantly no matter what, she'll be bought into this as she is, indeed, our commonality.

i am sorry, however, that i'm ending up killing her happiness. and that my bipolarity is keeping her completely away from it. so... i'm walking away a lot longer than i wanted to originally, and i may or may not be answering the phone during that time... to anyone. and i may or may not be online during that time... for anyone or anything. and there's only one person who can change my mind on this, and i don't think that she'll be doing that tonight.

i'm a burden. and anything that i do or say is a burden. it's keeping someone somewhere from acheiving something that they want somehow, no matter how i go about it. so, i'm just gonna... disappear.

goodbye. at least for now... may be back later or tomorrow if my mind is changed.

+
Wednesday, May. 11, 2005 - 8:10 pm
+ all of my hate cannot be bound so. here's what i just told him:

so. i thought about this for a while before i actually decided to comment back to you. and most of it was for elsbe's sake... but at this point, i don't care. because if it weren't for her, i could have completely gone off on you already.

right now, all i have to say, is you'd better not ever seek my approval, because you're not getting it. some things are meant to be a joke and/or funny, and not to be taken literally. and i thought that you of all people would pick up on that, but i suppose you indeed didn't.

for one, last i heard, i'm considered family to her. and i'm sorry i try talking to her every once n a while, but what you're not getting is most of the time you get a pretty fucking big hunk of her attention pretty much all the time. when i'm with her, if she's not talking to you, you're all she's talking about most of the time. trust me on this one. it'd be nice if at some point when i'm with her i can actually talk with her about stuff, but i'll live without it because i love her.

far as i'm concerned, i could live with never dealing with or seeing you again. but, i'm gonna have to suck it up for my sister. because i genuinely care about her. like i said, if you were anyone else, i'd kill you verbally right now.

so she's sitting in front of me talking to you. and like i just told her... i'm not doing this to HER. i'm doing this FOR me TO you. because i feel the need to defend my ability to have my own opinion, whether it be a joke or factual. and really... under usual circumstances, i wouldn't give you the time of day. but, i guess i'm gonna have to.

soon as she gets her car back, don't expect any more favours out of me. like i've said multiple times, i'm just doing this for her.

my usual answer for something like this: i hate you. please die now. kthxbai. but, that doesn't really apply in this situation.

i hate you. don't try to talk to me. kthxbai.

+

+ why does distance make us wise +