Have you ever?
kissed your cousin - uhm... yeah. i tried running away, really i did..
ran away – hah, yeah. ran away to my gramma's house... though almost didn't make it 'cause i had to cross the street to do so.

been in love -  unrequitted...
had a broken heart - oh yeah. fairly recently. 
broken a heart - i don't think so.

cried over someone of the opposite sex -  uhm... no.
cried when somebody died - that's a dumb question to ask someone whose mom has died.
wanted someone you couldnt have - yes.
broken a bone-- pinky finger in sixth grade, playing football.
done something embarrassing - on a fairly regular basis.
fallen for your best friend -  ..yes.
kissed two people in the same day - no, i've only ever kissed one.
been rejected - always.

dumped someone - - see, that would imply being together with someone first. and i haven't.
been dumped - - in a sense, yes. twice in one week. again, fairly recently.
cheated on someone - no, though someone i know may have seen something as that once...
been cheated on - - in the non-relationship with a girl i had once, yes.

Which is better?
coke or pepsi - - coke, dammit. with cherry.
sprite or sierra mist - - sprite, you freaks.
candy or flowers - - candy as a comfort food, but not on a regular basis o_o
blonde or brunette - - brunette... dunno why, they just are.
tall or short - - meduim, dammit.
pants or shorts - - pants
night or day - - night! purdy sky and things! ..that, and i'm something of an extreme night person...

Last time you...
showered - -  day before yesterday. wasn't home at all to do so yesterday, and crashed before i could. so i'm going to when i finish this. (you all know you've done it so don't give me that whole eewwww gross act.)
stepped outside - - last night

watched tv - -  last night i sort of did when i got home... i think it was american choppers.

Randomness...

what do you notice first - -  eyes.
last person you slow danced with - - kristen!
worst question to ask - - how're you holding up?
favorite memories - - spring break of junior year, junior year in general, the activities of the past few months until recently.
good luck charm - - don't currently have one.
person you hate most - - murr..
most recent thing that made you happy - "i think you're cute, lan."
can you do a backflip - hell no.
how long is your hair - - uhm... a tiny bit past shoulder length?
you like your hair color - - in all it's chocolate cherry dyedness, yes.

Who...
makes you laugh - elsbe and julie.
makes you smile - - elsbe
can make you feel better no matter what - elsbe
has a crush on you - no effing clue..

do you have a crush on- i believe we all know this one, though i'm working on squealshing it.

gives you a funny feeling when you see them - hm..

Do you...
save AIM conversations - -  occasionally
wish you were someone else - constantly
wish you were part of the opposite sex - more often than i'd like to admit

Who was the last person...
you talked to - - elsbe
you hugged - - elsbe
you IMed - - selana
you yelled at - dad
you thought about - elsbe and her hand
who text messaged you - - ..elsbe are we noticing a apttern yet?
who broke your heart - - i'm not at liberty to say, due to nicities. 
who told you they love you - - elsbe 

Do you / Have you / Are you...
do you have tattoos - - no, but there's one in my future
do you have piercings - - nope
do you have a boyfriend - - NEVER! GYAH! EW BOYS! ::attaches to amy lee poster and dreams::
do you have any pets - - sango, storm, kiddy.
habla español - - el guapo baño esta muy queso. esta un sobre matimosca!
have you stolen anything - - in fits of rage, yes. though i'll not confess to what or how often, but know that it's not very often at all and nothing too expensive.
are you obsessive - depends on what sort of thing you speak of.
you compulsive - not really.
are you obsessive compulsive - - nope!

+
Friday, May. 27, 2005 - 1:32 pm
+ dare you to move yes it's been... quite a while. but i assume due to circumstances, you all would understand why i haven't updated... what, with all the things with elsbe and her family, as well as my being QUITE sick for the past few days, and the funeral yesterday... i haven't been able to actually sit down and write an entry for a while. and for that, i apologize. to myself as much as to you. because i told myself this would be daily, even if it's early in the morning of the next day when i can actually write. and for now, that's just going to have to be an "oh well" situation.

though i would like to report, i've got the sweetest little kitty on the face of the earth. the other day when i was feeling the ultimate of icky, she followed me around the house and whenever i'd sit down, she sat on my feet... i swear she's picking up on english, as i'd said they were cold prior to that. (not an odd occurance, as kiddy did not too long after we'd had her. if she could speak, she'd have quite a vocabulary built up by now.) then later on i started crying basically from pain and from a few things said to be at the time, and sango crawled up on my tummy, up onto my chest, licked away my tears, gave me a kitty snuggle, and then layed her head down whilst purring at me. and for all that i hate her for tearing things apart sometimes, moments like that make me remember why i loved her to begin with.

right now, i'm not sure what i can say or what i should say about yesterday. so for now, i won't say anything at all. i'm not sure if i'll really ever touch on it, but i shall indeed link to it when elsbe inevitably does.

..and by the way, mike's hard lemonade feels good on a sore throat. though if you have said sore throat, you can easily get tipsy off of just one. dammit. though i was indeed quite happy to have one last night, if nothing to be able to swallow something that didn't taste like shite and that i could swallow without wanting to kill myself for it.

and now for the bathing before the leaving of the house.

+
Sunday, May. 22, 2005 - 3:23 am
+ and from your lips, she drew the hallelujah prepared for disjointed thoughts and ramblings. she's gettin' tired, and sleep deprivation's catchin' up!

so i spent the day with elsbe and aaron again.

...

yeah.

i've found that it's muchly easier to be around them when someone else is with us. problem being, it has to be someone we already all know, and just one someone. haven't had the experiment of things like powerplay groups or anything yet, but that would probably be fine too as we'd be in public with people and such.

i think i'm finally getting tired...

bought the next to ai yori aoshi's today, as there was a 20% off manga sale at brentano's. made the landa quite happy.

and i'm sitting here in dreads right now. let elsbe get happy with the hair glue again.

i heart elsbe and julie. and i guess i'm okay with aaron sometimes too... only in groups! =)

got home to see that BMG's sent me the first cd i've ordered to get back into their music club... i now have a switchfoot cd. talked to gramma the other day and she said that she'll pay for the shipping and the ordering of the cds for however much they may be... getting a feeling that's 'cause she's gonna get some too ::grins::. i've got a pretty musical family, i tell ya. probably can't tell it msot times... but mom's side's pretty good, or at least if they're not now, they used to be "back in the day". gramma'd told me and april one time that if she hadn't ended up with five girls, she would have tried to be famous.

..man, i'm suddenly tired. i think it's 'cause this house is kept so cold now...

...

was thinking about mom earlier... i can't say that it's not easier now, but sometimes it's just... ::sigh:: i understand what elsbe's mom is going through. i heard her say sometime today that she wished her mom could have lived forever. and i understand how she would want to smoke or drink or whatever she can to try to "feel better"... and how it's possible that none of that may work.

..and i understood when elsbe told me that her mom'd said she'd never be the same again.

..goodnight.

+

+ why does distance make us wise +