Tuesday, Jun. 14, 2005 - 6:50 pm
+ ding dong ding dong ding dong ding, banana phone ::update::
for some reason, i have banana phone stuck in my head.
ddr kicked my ass last night and this morning. my legs aren't gonna work for a while.
i'm tired.
wendy's food is good.
i... want a kiss.
my tummy's growling.
i smell like a pool.
i think i'll play donkey konga now...
::end update::
[edit] i was told a bit ago "we NEED to talk, but not now" and was thus signed off upon. and i'm not quite sure what to make of that at this point... maybe asking about meeting when she comes through, if she's still coming through? maybe about all that's happened? who knows... i'm curious.
+
Sunday, Jun. 12, 2005 - 9:16 pm
+ less is more quite a few rounds of ddr later, and i was dripping with sweat. hadn't gotten that bad before... i think i'm just tired. though i was surprised to see elsbe today, as i hadn't planned on it at all 'cause of her mom's birthday. we got to hang out for a little bit playin' ddr then goin' to quiktrip for drinks and such so as not to keel over.
there were quite a few talks that i had with people yesterday... and i think that i'm dealing well, all things considered. most people are telling me to run away from everything, but i can't really do that. today's gone well... waited to get a phone call and didn't try to start anything on my own, and it seems to be a pretty good deal. not upset or anything, not depressed, just got to veg out with some cookies and cream ice cream and spiderman two before she got here with her mom to show her some ddr.
...
i'm talking in circles a bit. i think i'm gettin' more tired by the minute. probaby the weather since it's so rainy out and all. think i'mma quit before i start talking jibberish.......... qeighlk pyu249tuqwilrgh oyuioqwhrjkqlr ifu0a9hsofuiblnkm ergouhndaf,.vkmfweaolBRNLQKWJEJ PQUJQKEGNJohjekngpj orghjqjrg =) <3.
::passes out::
+
+ on two hours of sleep, a wing, and a prayer, the car made it to holden. heinzi didn't come with us, so it was a pretty lonely drive there... and hot, as if i ran the air conditioning, it would start to overheat. never once did so though, and i was proud of 'er. though, my truck went through half a tank of gas today... i think it's something in the difference between my driving and elsbe's, as i don't think i would have ended up using so much for some reason. eh, i'll get more tomorrow... gotta bum money off of dad anyway. gawd... i've been up since eight thirty, even then i'd only slept two hours... why the hell am i awake... i want to kiss and be kissed right this very moment, and i know not why. it can't and won't happen, it just... ::sigh:: it just seems like something nice to look forward to, should it actually be something there to look forward to one day after a day of endless tiredness and little bad things happening, and injuries form pool lunging (not me, long story), and being with a really loving couple... goodnight.
+ i'm catching shit for elsbe's car decisions. we bought memory for the computer, it's not reading it. or it's reading it and it's not telling me. i found the dead mouse and almost threw up 'cause it smelled so bad... bastard had a fat ass like no other. it'd chewed on absolutely everything in my room... need to douse that side of my bed with lysol. ... ..i need a girlfriend. curlling up with someone to watch a movie and snuggle up with the occasional kiss sounds quite nice right now... hell, being physically near someone who i can openly be affectionate with without catching glares from someone else would be wonderful. that disappeared a month and a half ago. i've just been... lonely in general lately when i'm not around someone who's not on the phone with someone else. i've been with elsbe a lot and that's been great... but it's temporary now. it's not the way it used to be, as she has to make time for so much more now... seemingly more than she did during the school year. and i'm tired of always adding to that burden... but i can't help it because she's the default person that i call or text when i want to hang out... because most others have proven always busy or uninterested. thus, i piss elsbe off and call her while she's busy with aaron or trying to do other things... in the nicest way possible... i need to make more friends so i can stop relying upon her for things like that. but i don't know how... especially since it's summer.
+
+ why does distance make us wise +
Friday, Jun. 10, 2005 - 2:11 am
+ dreaming of you tonight as i watch the lighting in the distance, illuminating the clouds,
i see your beautiful face, your eyes gazing into mine.
i stand in the breeze of the coming storm, letting it wrap around me,
and i feel your warmth, your arms, your gentle skin.
steadily, tiny drops of rain start to fall, covering me from head to toe,
and i wish that i could see you again to see that face, those eyes,
to feel that warmth all around me after the cold, cold rain.
i'm not asking you to say you love me, that you always will,
i just want to feel your lips against mine one more time,
your arms pulling me closer, your hair in my fingers.
so i'll go lay down, hold my pillow close and tight,
and dream of you.
Thursday, Jun. 09, 2005 - 3:39 am
+ i cry when angels deserve to die i'm on my laptop. the router had gotten messed up in some way or another... had to replace it.
Monday, Jun. 06, 2005 - 8:56 pm
+ don't know why my laptop's screwed right now. it refuses to connect online in this fucking house, and only here. but other wireless computers will connect here. expect less entries 'till it's fixed, as it's generally unpleasent to be in this back room anymore 'cause of the damn cats.
