Tuesday, Jul. 26, 2005 - 9:56 pm
+ without you all i'm going to be is incomplete so. i posted this everywhere on lj that i could think of, in the lc, and on xanga. wo0t. going to myspace as soon as i finish it out here. have fun, laugh all you want, but i'm totally serious.

so. i realize that it's been a while since i've posted, and again that is entirely my fault. a lot of sutff has been going on, and at least one of you here knows about it firsthand. well, secondhand, as i've told you... but whatever.

but, i return here tonight with a bit of a purpose, that many may (and have) laugh at me for. ?what is this purpose?" you might ask. well...

apparantly, my best friend's ex boyfriend won a couple of backstreet boys tickets off of a local radio station. being as such i endured the boy band revolution in middle school and early high school, i once had found myself obsessed (while secretly liking britney spears and mandy moore just a bit more than nick carter, but not letting on to it). and while they looked all well and good to every other female thing on the planet, i appreciated their harmonies and lyrics a lot mroe than their looks and ages and every single tidbit of info that they could find in "bop" or something similar... or online, even.

i found myself surprised to hear their newest single, thinking that it was another band until i heard nick's voice on the choruses.. and thought "damn. they got a lot better than they used to be [maybe because they're effing older now and more trained, whatev]". speaking as an ex-music major, i still appreciate them for their music more than anything else... though i honestly haven't gotten their new album yet, though i plan on it eventually.

by this point, you're all "why the hell are you telling me this?" i'm telling you this because i may find myself buying those tickets from that guy. but right now, i have no one to go with me. thus, i am whoring myself out to anyone who lives in or would like to come to kansas city for a date... i could probably throw in a bit of dinner before the concert as well. if nothing, i may end up going either way to fulfill a tween dream that i once had, but it would be totally awesome if someone could go with me. preferably someone near my age who went thorugh the boy band revolution as well, but anyone who's interested is more than welcome to email me at immortal dot nocturne at gmail dot com. (take out spaces, change both dots to . and there you have it... too many things that steal emails for spam these days to type it out correctly.)

in saying this, i promise on everything that i'm not a serial killer, rapist, or pervert (well, not much of one), nor am i a drug addict, heavy smoker, or even old enough to drink (though it doesn't stop me occasionally, heh heh).

just to clear something up on my end, i'm NOT trying to sell anything, i'm trying to GIVE AWAY a ticket to someone who would be interested in attending... as well as dinner to anyone who might be interested in me, heh.

and with this, i bid you adu for now. here's hoping i get at least one response, aside from possibly getting deleted...

+
Tuesday, Jul. 26, 2005 - 2:36 am
+ i can breathe for the first time not that anyone cares aside from me, but i feel the need to document this.

it appears that my sleeping patterns are more sporadic than they once were, and this has happened within the past couple of weeks. i haven't trained myslef to this, it's just happened. most of my friends are awake during the day, so i attempt to be awake most of the day when possible. a few of my friends are nocturnal -like me- so i try to stay awake at night. problem being, this leaves no room for sleep. thus, i get naps.

...

it's not those shitty "i don't feel rested at all" sort of naps, as i have yet to have more than about two of those. i just go in, lay down, and get up when i'm needed to be up. a lot of the time, i get my sleep in while elsbe's at work or getting aaron or something, i've noticed. and a lot of that comes from trying to spend time with her where i can, as said time is getting to be less and less as the days go by.

though, it's not as if this is purely for her. i've been able to see more people more often since this has begun, and i think i like it. there haven't been any negative side effects yet, so i'm not going to train myself off of this quite yet. only thing there is thus far is a hurt neck, left elbow, shoulders, and back... but that's from sitting in front of an extremely high velocity blower fan for too long last night. that can be easily fixed by bribing a certain elsbe i know.

and thus, for now, i go to bed. because i'm a bit tired.

+
Sunday, Jul. 24, 2005 - 6:59 pm
+ i wanna get out note to self:
upon having a girlfriend, be sure to pretend not to care at all if anyone else is around and take part in trying to get her as horny as possible while still having clothes on and by not *really* doing anything to her. i.e. allegedly subtle things like sneaky boob rubs, passionate kisses, finding a way to touch her just about anywhere and everywhere whenever possible, regardless of who is around.
..this especially applies to single best friends.

...

like i've said before. sometimes, i just need to let out steam somewhere... and it'll go here when i don't have anywhere else at all to take it out. and thus, it's here in writing. because the person i need to talk to keeps falling asleep or being "busy" or leaving.
..and i'm likely to die from those statements, but i need to say it to someone or something.

fun thing is, i'm totally not angry right now. just... agitated, and in great need to talk things out. in my inability to do so, i'm writing what i can -which actually really isn't all that much, now that i see what i've got written.

yeah... i'm done.

+
Sunday, Jul. 24, 2005 - 3:05 am
+ en tus pupilas i've noticed that a lot of my problem is that if i fall asleep and wake up in a bad mood or get awoken in a mean way or something like that, i end up pizzy and bitch like for the rest of the day... or until i'm allowed to sleep again. i think that i just shouldn't have contact with people in general until i've been awake for at least an hour, so as not to end up going off or getting mad if someone irks me.

..i just used "irks" in a sentance. in context.

...

i think it's time to go to bed. especially as i need to be up at seven forty five... my days start in the morning for basically the rest of the summer from what i can tell 'cause of what her store is doing to her work schedule. then i need to get over to ashley's and get her to go to walmart, get her home, hope that i get to talk to meg before i go get ashley so i know when i'm going over there, get elsbe at three, then end up taking her car down to holden again... hopefully for the last time ever... that piece of shit.

bad night tonight, if you couldn't tell. though it resulted in my owning shakira's new cd. and though i have no idea what the hell she's saying, i still think it's great. i apparanlty have a thing for anyone who can sing in spanish -or any foreign language aside from german.

::le sigh::

yeah. i need to go... 'cause i know i'll be playing either kingdom hearts or katamari damacy for a while 'till i get tired enough to fall asleep again.

look at me being interesting.
::chair dances while drinking her green tea::

+
Saturday, Jul. 23, 2005 - 3:43 am
+ we said goodnight and not goodbye to the woman who wondered where i was tonight, and if i was alright:
here i am. writing to you. i'm alright.

to the woman who has been understandably absent for a time:
i kiss my cigarette and wish it were you instead; i hope you're alright and getting better.

to the woman who fell silently asleep as we were chatting:
it gets better. really, it does. just... apparantly not right now. maybe tomorrow.

it's time for me to get some sleep if i'm going to be up in four and a half hours.

to all of the women mentioned above, and anyone else who may happen upon this:
goodnight.

+

+ why does distance make us wise +