Monday, Aug. 29, 2005 - 5:35 pm
+ set me free, your heaven's a lie it might be a little longer than i'd hoped... depending upon what dad and gramma think of the idea that i currently have on getting a gateway for much less than the toshiba, still customaized the way that i want it to be, but the prive i have now after tax and shipping and everything is $976.40, which is much less than almost $1,200. i downgraded from having office back down to works, and i have it to where it has the media center rather than xp professional... but i almost prefer it that way. office, i will need one day no matter what, but if we don't have it to get it now, then that's totally fine. just if i continue the way that i am now with the probability i have of majoring in web graphics or computers in some way or another, i *will* need office, if nothing for powerpiont. feh. stupid standardized programs.
keep in mind that once i get a job, i'll be paying him back for this computer anyway... so inherently it's my money taht we're talking about here, and if it's gonna be done, i want it to be done right. and from what i can tell, gateway's a pretty good way to go.
..and i'm pretty damn good at this whole "research" thing when it's something that i'm actually *quite* interested in, eh?
basically at this point what he's looking at is something that can be done with monthly payments without him having to get a credit card, because he refuses to ever have one again because of past bankrupcy, which he won't be totally free and clear of until this spring... though he has made a stupendous comeback with his credit rating, with buying his bike and all. and i think i've found the right kind of deal for this... though if it doesn't work out that way, i don't see why we can't just order it in gramma's name and give her the monthly payments through her credit card and such, as no one would be losing any money anywhere, and because it would just be using her credit card with us paying her back immediately.
makes sense, yes?
anyone who has any suggestions, totally feel free to leave them. and i'm sorry to anyone who doesn't do computers who's having to suffer through these entries... but that's what's majorly going on right now. getting myself back online for school stuff is a priority at this point, especially with the downtime that i'm wasting on mondays between classes right now... and because i can work *after* class on wednesday and friday from the pit or something.
i truly was going to start doing that this week... goddammit -_-;;.
+ this is why i won't be around for a while: i heart juu: so this has been one of the worst days of my life thus far. ugh. it's lan, btw. somewhere in the midst of everything there, there was a lot of crying done. an hour straight with no stopping. because the way that robin went off on me said that everything i've done for the past year is worthless because i apparantly to absolutely nothing at all but eat, sleep, and get online... and i felt that way... and i still kinda feel that way... and apparantly that toshiba link doesn't work now. hm. link to the computer pre-additions can be found here. this is the system that i'm hoping for... i mean, if she's gonna spend the money, she might as well do it all at once and correctly, yes? if anyone has any suggestions for other specifications, let me know so i can update the cost to show to them, alright? so, i'm going now. and i'm not sure how long i'll be gone from here... but i'll be gone. and you now know why. feh.
+ ..i'm really going now... really... ::looks around for someone to go with her::
+ i'm quite disappointed right now. my entire schedule of things i had to do last night got shifted to today because i thought someone could come with me. of course, that's not so, because that's just hte way that life works. i was asked if i was alright with this, if i was "not too disappointed"... and i said no. because i'm a dumbass... and because i'm told that i'm just supposed to keep things in and get over them. well dammit, i'm just not the person that i'm supposed to be. i'm sorry that i start crying as soon as i hear something like that, that my schedule shift has been messed up yet again because of something that's been happening a lot recently anyway. at this point, it feels like i have to pee on someone's leg to get to hang out with them when we're "supposed" to be able to, though knowing my luck someone else would come along and cover it up. so now, i'm off to do a lot of out-of-the-house things alone... the way that i hate doing them. because i'm a push over. and because there's nothing that i can ever do to change that fact... and because i need to get used to not seeing this person nearly as often with it being just us... because that's just the way that things are around here, and i have to get used to it sometime... right? ..please don't be mad at me, i had to say it somewhere...
+
My ideas are that they were going on safari, as the little one does have that hat. The little purple one might be the orange one’s child or they could be in a Big Brother/Big Sister program. The orange one, who I have named Fred, can keep track of the purple one, Zoe, by holding on to the strings of Zoe’s hat. Fred keeps yelling at Zoe because she steps on the strings hanging down from his toga as they walk along, thus there is a lot of tension present between the two of them. Fred is constantly blushing, so they are probably in one of those programs rather than being father and daughter, and Fred has a crush on Zoe. Fred is a pedophile. Zoe keeps tripping in her shoes whenever she tries to run away, so she gave up long ago and has resigned to the fact that she must deal with Fred until the end of the day when her mom picks her up after her twelve hour shift at her minimum wage paying job. From the above paragraph, I am likely seen as evil. Actually, I live a life sleep deprived, and I apparently tend to come up with some funny things off of the top of my head. I picked the trolls out of everything else because they looked as though I could make the most interest story out of them as compared to everything else that was laying on the table when I got to it. That, and being an only child, I made some pretty interesting situations for the troll dolls I had when I was younger, as well as any other dolls that I had, and thought that it would be fun to revisit that in college. It’s been a fun and interesting experience.
+
+ why does distance make us wise +
Sunday, Aug. 28, 2005 - 6:00 pm
+ you don't know what it's like
Cocacolakec: yeah
i heart juu: jus a sec, shaking from not eatin' for like... tewnty hours now?
Cocacolakec: jus ate a muffin
i heart juu: ok so.
i heart juu: i fell asleep very late/early.
i heart juu: elsbe called and woke me up at nine for that cat, i debate and decide to go get it since they're keeping her from working to take care of it.
i heart juu: she makes sure that i'm gonna be the one to keep it... i get home, dad goes off on me.
i heart juu: cats fight, i get him outside, feed him, talk to you, wish death on elsbe, all taht.
Cocacolakec: nice re cap
i heart juu: get in here to check on online classes, find that laptop is frozen with no hope of unfreezing.
i heart juu: restart, it freezes on restart. 5 times.
Cocacolakec: ew
i heart juu: i go in asfe mode and tryt o fix stuff, it doesn't freeze as quickly the next 3 times.
i heart juu: i give up, yell a bit, and decide to take it to best buy.
i heart juu: hard drive and/or memory's fucked. they have to ship it off to HP 'cause i have a warranty there for the next few months.
i heart juu: that's at least a month it'd be gone.
i heart juu: i have online classes NOW
i heart juu: i leave pissed, call gramma, she says that we're gonna probably ship it in to them, and get a new one. give the one i have now to one of the other kids in the family or to elsbe in the end.
i heart juu: ok fine. i look at circuit city and best buy for deals they have now, and come home.
i heart juu: get here, start looking some up online in here -which btw, isn't my computer. mine won't read the cdroms for my online classes programs, and this is dad's- then dad, robin, and lois get here.
i heart juu: robin reems me for the way the house looks, because ti's apparantly all my responsibility, because i have no job and all i do is get online, eat, and sleep. which a lie, but i let her thini kthis. i've only been on for writing and online classes recently, because i'm so busy with other things.
i heart juu: i'm sorry i've been busy with school things and getting that fucking guitar ready for elsbe for class and such and havne't had time to, yanno, be home doing something that's not class.
i heart juu: so, i go off, end up starting to clean the living room, finding there's NO SPACE for my things in the basement, do what i can to the living rom, and finish.
i heart juu: find that elsbe and i could have indeed made the movie after all... but didn't want to go at all anymore.
i heart juu: she's... busy the rest of the day now... allegedly had the day clear for me before but when i call in tears she's too busy now 'cause of her mom -_-
Cocacolakec: hmmm
i heart juu: i bathe, i build a laptop on toshiba's site, find out that it'll be just over a thousand dollars for it... but that it's going to be that price anywhere for the bare essentials that i need to get, including microsoft office, because it's a requirement for my online class, and it's a discount through toshiba of over half the price.
i heart juu: havne't called her about that yet.. she needs to talk to dad first from what i hear, and he's unreachable, 'cause his phone turned itself off again and he doesn't know.
i heart juu: and i'm still shaking, need to finish this now... ::eats::
i heart juu: btw, this is the computer.
i heart juu: will never own an HP computer again in my life.
i heart juu: that's what this messed uip one of mine is as well.
Cocacolakec: sory
Cocacolakec: i just went through the comp woes
i heart juu: grr. and it's not really the fact that it doesn't work that bothers me.
i heart juu: it's the fact that i don't have any way to save what's on it, that my actual pc doesn't work well enough for class either, and that this isn't my computer to fuck with.
Cocacolakec: you have comp labs at school?
i heart juu: yes, but i don't know where or the procedures there or what to do to log in and all that fun stuff. i make it a point to not be there if it's within my power... i should be fine, though. can be on ehre 'till i get another one.
i heart juu: and i'm hoping they'll see that gramma'll be saving money with the one i "built" through toshiba.
Cocacolakec: yeah
i heart juu: did it show you the specifications i'd chosen on there?
Cocacolakec: i don't know comp stuff
i heart juu: it's actually not JUST for class... i'm thinking i'll probably end up majoring in computer things... online design or something... so there's a bit of that thrown in there too, with the larger battery and such.
Cocacolakec: so it woiuldn't have made a diff
Cocacolakec: cool
i heart juu: but the way that it's set up, it's so that it'll be a good investment for a few years, not for a few months 'till they upgrade things.
i heart juu: best of what can be gotten now for relatively nothing, compared to normal prices.
Saturday, Aug. 27, 2005 - 12:04 pm
+ don't turn away "mad" and "disappointed" are two entirely different words. and i'm feeling more of the latter, though i didn't get to say that because there wasn't opprotune time to do so, as they were connected too well in the statement you made.
Saturday, Aug. 27, 2005 - 12:01 pm
+ listen to your heart i'm startin' to get this whole lying thing down... it's just the eventually telling the truth that fucks me over...
Wednesday, Aug. 24, 2005 - 10:37 am
+ a happy holiday descriptive essay that i just wrote in my english class, that i'm currently still sitting in. i'm going to link to the image of these when i get home. heee.
So I’m sitting here looking at a couple of trolls. One of them looks pretty much bigger than the other, and their hair’s falling out in one great big trolly hair clump. They’ve both got little bitty blue eyes, the smallest one without pupils, and they’re both clothed -which is interesting and different for trolls, as in their natural habitat, they’re naked with the possibility of maybe a jewel in their belly buttons. The larger troll has orange hair that’s barely attached, and a white toga looking shirt, while the smaller troll has purple hair covered with an odd, safari looking hat with purple shoes that are falling off since they are so large.
