Tuesday, May. 02, 2006 - 11:04 am
+ preaching not to be numb when that's how you thrive one) drama sucks. especially when it's close to impossible to choose sides, but you end up doing so anyway out of habit, even though you see two sides to an argument and find it unjust and stupid to be fighting in the first place.
..why is absolutely everyone having some sort of drama or another right now?
two) O HAY PEOPLE IN RELA'S! PLEASE TO BE MORE CUTE AND COUPLEY IN FRONT OF THE SINGLES LIKE ME OHKAY? ITS MAKES US FEELS GOODS INSIDES ANDS OUTS SO PLEASE TO BE DOING MORE
three) peens.
+ i just wrote a rather long comment to autumn. i was going to write an entry, but this just took most of the rest of my energy. check her entry to know what i'm talking about... i'm off to bed: . . .well if you truly think that i was attempting to gang up on you or something of the like, then so be it. jesus. i'ms orry for standing up for the other side foa n argument, i'll make it a point not to do that in the future. i never ever said you can't say whatever the hell you want in your own journal. and if that's what you really think of me... then maybe i SHOULD consider just stopping reading and commenting and such. i'm sorry if you think that i'm not comfortable with myself and that i'm lazy and that i don't try anything at all to be healthier when i play ddr as much as i can as a form of working out and i eat vegetarian whenever i can afford to eat something that my father hasn't bought. i'm just now making my own money, and i still don't have enough to spend on food for myself other than fast alternatives, and i try to be healthy with those. i was NOT trying to be a damn sob story, i was trying to prove a point. i've tried losing weight forever, and it's just not nearly as easy as you seem to think it is... and if you truly think that i'm disgusting or whatever, and that we weren't and/or should never be very good friends at all, then i say we shoudl just take each other off of our lists and start over again if we ever happen to see each other again... i will say that though we don't talk very often -especially because i'm not at kckcc at this point- that you are indeed someone who's very nice to talk to and such, and i wish the best for you. tell me what you think should happen in terms of our (possible continuance of) friendship, and i guess i'll just go along with that. i just wish you could understand.
+ omfgshe'sjustsopresciousihopeshelivesforeversoicankeepher. cats can live for twenty years, right? which means she might live until i'm nearly forty, right? god, i hope she gets to stay around that long... i'll miss her so much, probably more than any others -aside from miss kiddy of course. she came at such a pivotal time for me... i'm not sure i'll want to have another cat after she goes, though i bet i will out of habit if nothing. awh lan, your cat died? here's a kitten for coping! really, bedthings now.
+ i love runon sentences. sometimes i kinda miss clicking on a home keyboard, as i'm doing right now. though i don't miss the smell of the room when storm misses the cat box on purpose, nor my having to chase him around to put him in the box instead of him pooing on the floor like the retard he is. but i do love my sangobutt who runs in after him and covers it with litter so we don't have to smell it through the entire house. ..hello one thirty in the morning overshares. how are you doing this fine late night/early morning?
+ over on, i believe, cleaver II just outside of the plaza whilst on the way to umkc, there were groups of teenage kids on eithe rside of the road with "honk for homos" signs, and others like "gays are homo-sapiens too". i wish i'd had a camera. it made me happy inside. and when i honked, they all yelled and danced, then had me honk again. this continued the whole time the light was red, and then as it changed. i love outspoken gay kids and their supporters. aside from that, today's just kinda been "growl"y. apparently i am again kicked out of elsbe's house because i'm never nice enough... even though i try to be quite nice and just end up shot down in the end. i offer to do stuff or try to do stuff for someone else, and get told to move out of the way, or that i'm doing it wrong, or i get told to do something else. i don't talk, i get told that i need to talk more. i talk, and i'm told that i don't have respect for other people or something like that. no matter what i do, her mom always ends up giving me an attitude, even when i'm perfectly nice. so not knowing what to do, i usually take the lesser of the two evils and just don't speak unless spoken to, and i do what they tell me to do even if they contradict each other (her mom and aunt, i mean), and try to stay out of the way... especially when elsbe and her mom are fighting. in my eyes, it seems as though her mom is waiting hand and foot for the day that elsbe comes home and says yeah, i don't like landa. i'm not gonna hang out with her anymore. she's not worth my time. so she can throw some sort of inner party or something. there have been times when i've debated being the one to walk away purely to make her life simpler and likely happier... but i care about her too much to leave her like that for no reason other than i wish for your happiness. right now, i'm basically avoiding her family like the plague. her mom has made it perfectly clear to me that she wants nothing to do with me, and probably wouldn't care of i disappered one day or something. so in turn, i feel no need to have anything at all to do with her. the only real reason i'd been trying at all is elsbe, because i know it would mean the world to her if her mom and i could get along... but it's been proven time and time again that it will never happen. first she claimed it was because i was wiccan -i'm no longer wiccan. then it was because i'm gay and she thought i would turn elsbe -um, elsbe's bi whether or not her mother would like to realize it through all of her hey she's kinda hot comments, i didn't do it, and she's been with aaron for a year now... if that's not proof enough, i don't know what is. now it's just because i'm me. i apparently should have to change myself when i'm around them, and that's just not right at all. this totally isn't want i'd wanted my entry to be about.. i hate the spring right now. sai and her girlfriend apparently split up, shannon and bill are likely to split up, elsbe and aaron are fighting more often again, and i'm watching from the sidelines while i'm working random days and off others, hoping to bring home enough money to maybe take said people out for a day of happiness every now and then without worries of money or boyfriends/girlfriends or parents or cars or school or work or time in general... here's hopin' i can do that sometime next week for at least one of the one i spoke of. i get paid on friday... maybe friday night into saturday, if nothing. i don't know what else i can do. i'm here to listen, but i want to actually do something... which is why having a job now helps, because i'll have the means on days that i'm off work. having a schedule that coencides with elsbe's to an extent helps with that too. ::sigh:: i need to quit writing and go to bed. have to be at work at eight thirty in the morning, because my managers listen well when i say things like i can't work mornings. i wish it were thursday night.
+
+ why does distance make us wise +
Monday, May. 01, 2006 - 2:09 am
+ cest la vie
Friday, Apr. 28, 2006 - 1:32 am
+ one lifetime awwwwwww i just realized my baby's growin' a latin booty. well, at least when she's sitting. and she's finally getting a tummy that's more than just kitty ribs! and her calico markings have evened out so much more than they were a year ago, and she's constantly soft and purring and craving attention and affectionate now! eee! i finally have a lap kitty that doesn't hurt from weight after five minutes!
Friday, Apr. 28, 2006 - 1:13 am
+ this is dangerous this is me hoping that my work didn't forget to pay me and/or that my bank just doesn't show transactions until they're actually open in the morning, because i'm relying on getting that check tomorrow, or i may or may not have the ability to get to and from work, let alone eat there, and then hang out with elsbe after work... and get some stuff i'd hoped to get this weekend for peoples.
Thursday, Apr. 27, 2006 - 12:17 am
+ you still won't hear me
